Hello Eban, it was okay meeting you at the grocery this evening. I was happy when you shared your excitement for my new product, the Burrito Bone. Since you are good with computers, and I am running out of money, do you think you can make me a website for the Burrito Bone?
Can you make it say "Burrito Bone" on top, so the visitor knows what website they are on. I don't want them to think they have landed on some fake website to steal their Microsoft license key or something. Every time I turn on my computer I get pop-ups, and I think it's from those websites my nephew visits when he comes over. He loves playing those games.
Anyway, I don't have much money left for marketing, so please do not ask me for any money. The most I can offer you is the experience of making the Burrito Bone website.
On the website, would you please put in big, bold letters, the following: Do NOT wash your Burrito Bone. -- and also tell them to stop emailing me about it, if they have a problem with their dishwasher, perhaps they should call their dishwasher's manufacturer. Why would I know anything about their dishwasher? If it's suddenly smoking and oozing orange ooze, that sounds like you have a severe plumbing issue. Maybe even call a plumber. Don't call me! I'm just a humble entrepeneur, trying to keep people's Burritos proud and erect. So stop asking!
Can you make one of those JIFs about that? Put it here:
In fact, also put me on the do-not-call list. You can do that also, right? My nephew is also good with computers, but he likes those games too much. I would ask him to do this whole thing for me but he's currently at some camp for vibrational children, or something. I would really prefer to just not receive any phone calls at all anymore. It's never anything good. No one ever calls me and says "Congratulations, the Burrito Bone is winning an award!"
Alright, why don't you just copy this email and put it on the website. I just want the phone calls to stop.
-Sent from my iPad